Goin’ Steady

When I was a teenager, the term for dating was “going-out.” I hear my grandparents refer to dating as “goin’ steady.” I love that term. So southern and so cute. I never really understood what it meant. I’ve never been in a steady relationship, so I never grasped why they would have called it that. Lately, I’ve done a lot of soul searching. In my prayer time and time alone, it seems the only word that came to mind constantly was steady.

Steady: firmly fixed, supported, or balanced; not shaking or moving.

Firmly fixed. Supported. Balanced. Not shaking or moving.

I’m pursuing a rooted and steady relationship with Christ. I don’t want to fall away after tragedy and chaos. I want to remain balanced in prayer time and reading. It’s so hard for me to create a routine where I spend a little time every day instead of spending hours or less with Jesus once a week. I get so frustrated with myself when I can change an eating habit but not change my “feeding” habits. Another reason I constantly ask myself, “Why are you like this?” Let’s strive for steady in our walk with Christ together. I know if we master this, all other avenues of life will benefit.

My boyfriend and I have always been hot or cold. We’re super passionate, crazy, head – over – heels in love with each other. When it’s good, it’s great. On the flip side, when it’s bad, it’s a nightmare. We can be brutal and hateful and the two people in the moments of anger don’t even resemble the two individuals that I mentioned first.

I never really understood what steady meant until this past year of life. I thought if it wasn’t always happy and on a high, then it wasn’t good. If I wasn’t happy, I was sad. Or mad. Or I was trying to figure out what was wrong since he wasn’t acting like he was yesterday or even that morning. (Side note: they really aren’t as emotional as us and sometimes there really is NOTHING wrong.) After a season of happiness, I wanted to move on to more happiness. The problem with that is when we’re not content in our current season of happiness, we tend to rush things to get to the next “high.” It’s almost like an addictive drug.

In my current phase of becoming, I’ve had to slow down my pursuit of happiness. I’ve spent the last five months of my relationship planning for a future instead of enjoying dating in the present. I’ve planned the whole wedding. Daydreamed of the proposal. Watched endless hours of Fixer Upper with plans for our future home. Created a baby board on Pinterest that has my baby fever at 104.9 degrees. Is there anything wrong with any of this? I don’t think so. However, I’ve overlooked important issues that need to be dealt with before any of this excitement unfolds. I haven’t eliminated unnecessary pressure when I know I could have. I know all these things will happen for us, but after a heartbreaking week, I know it’s not time yet. I know it will be beautiful. But, for now, we’re goin’ steady and preparing ourselves to offer the best versions of us to each other when that time comes. I want our relationship to mirror my relationship with Christ and Christ’s love for us.

Firmly fixed. Supported. Balanced. Not shaking or moving.


The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23


He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11

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