Struggle Bus.

What is something you always dream of? Your Pinterest closest being brought to life? Carbs unlimited with a perfect physique? Your picture-perfect, dream wedding day? For me it’s all three, but I tend to daydream more about my wedding day than any other thing I think about. If I had to guess, I’d dare to say many of you, too, think about your wedding day often.

I share a brain with one of my best friends. I was her Maid of Honor and watched her plan the most perfect wedding I’ve ever seen. Her dress fit her like a glove. She could have been a Jaclyn Hill model that day. Every detail of her wedding was a dream, but her biggest nightmare left her spinning not long after her first dance. Within months of saying “I Do,” her husband destroyed her heart and their marriage beyond repair. The point of this post isn’t to bash him for his wrongdoing or even give her the pity she deserves, but instead to give hope to someone else who may be in the same phase of becoming as she is.

Last week, she sent me a text asking, “Why me? Why do I have to be the one who struggles while he moves on with life?” One year later, he has moved on with the woman who aided in the destruction of their marriage. They are living the dream it seems. New vehicles. Vacations. You name it. All while she struggles to make ends meet and battles anxiety and depression constantly. The text I received made me mad for a second. Usually I have encouraging words, and I’ll have scripture to back up a thought, but this day I had nothing. My response back to her was, “Usually I have something to say that would encourage you, but today is not that day.” Almost immediately I heard something I knew was from the Lord.

Peace is in the perspective.

I had to remind her that even though he may be buying new vehicles and taking vacations with this new woman, she was also the woman beside him years ago. She knew his recent financial struggles. She also knew how empty she felt inside when they would smile for pictures on trips and vacations. She never wanted for anything materialistically with him.  The enemy is still coming against her mind to cause more questions and doubt. I can’t help but wonder what’s on the other side of her breakthrough! The enemy will always make something you’ve been delivered from seem so much better than it actually was. He’ll cause you to ask, “If God is so good then why would He let this happen to you and let him get away with it?” She was comparing herself to the story they appear to be living and their relationship to her previous relationship with him, and it was robbing her of all joy. Comparison is the thief of joy. But when she saw things from a different perspective, her whole attitude and mindset shifted.

Peace is in the perspective.

She’s still mending. One year later. My heartbreak healing process took over a year. Don’t rush your healing, and don’t put a timeline on your process. I encouraged her to continue to walk in freedom of her new path. No, it’s not the plan she had for her life, but with the right perspective, she can find peace and joy on her new path. If you’ve had your heart and face smeared in the dirt on this journey, I hope you find comfort in knowing that HE is fully capable of giving you a new heart and putting a new spirit inside of you. (Ezekiel 36:26) The Bible says, “They who sow in tears shall reap in joy.” Psalm 126:5 I’m speaking that over your life and your becoming process. Don’t let the question of “Why me?” be your focus. Instead, shift your perspective and see the beauty in your breaking and becoming.

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