One love. One shot. One chance. Have you spent your whole life thinking that you only get one shot and one chance at your one true love? If you, like me, have believed this for so long, you consequently have believed that if you lost your one love, then that’s it for you, and second best is all you will ever know. Recently, I came to the understanding of the power of choosing a new path. Walk with me…
Years ago I was in a relationship with what seemed to be the perfect person. He was good in many ways, but he was not perfect, and neither was I. Over the course of three years, we destroyed each other’s hearts beyond repair. After it was all said and done, I began to blame myself. A lot of soul searching took place, and God put a jumbo highlighter on the areas in my life that were not like Him. These areas were weaknesses of mine that aided in the hardest break up of my life. At the time of the break up, I couldn’t see these issues as my character flaws. I instead justified my actions as reasonable responses to his failures. When I realized that it wasn’t all him, I attempted to patch things up. After months of waiting and pleading, he finally came back.
This is where you think I’m about to tell you we kissed and cried and poured our hearts out and God fixed it and we got married and had babies and lived happily ever after. Sorry. Not this story. I do have one like that that I’ll share later, but this is not that story.
Instead, he came back, made more empty promises, made me feel special, and left. Never to be seen or heard from again. Blocked from being able to contact him or creep on a social media account. Gone. This to me was more brutal than the almost engagement gone break up. There were no answers, no closure, and no fight. He just disappeared. I quickly began to blame myself again. I told myself things like, “You’ll never get another shot at a love like that again.” and “That was your one shot. He was it for you, and you blew it.”
After a year and a half of struggling and holding on to letting go, I allowed myself to choose a different path- to let go of what I thought was my one shot and forgive myself for the circumstances that led me here. I met a man who is everything I could ever dream of and more. He makes me happy, and loves me in a way I can’t explain. I’ve taken everything I learned from my previous mistakes and failures, and I’ve focused on becoming the best possible version of myself. Not because I’m accepting him as a last resort, but because I’m choosing to walk in joy on my new path. I’m so glad God never says, “This is the last time I’m putting you back together.” HIS mercies are new every morning. I accept the grace God has given me daily, and I choose to extend that grace to him as well. Is he perfect? No. Is he worthy? Absolutely. Just like God views you as worthy and deserving of joy and a new story. Ezekiel 36:26 says, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you…”
So today, if you’re struggling with the thought of missing your chance, I encourage you to allow God to open your eyes and give you a new heart and renewed spirit and mindset. It is possible to still care for and feel emotions towards someone you’ve been connected to, but ask God to break the soul ties that bind you to a memory and allow you to move on freely, and choose to walk your new path with the joy of the Lord.